The resistance we experience within ourselves when it comes down to going after what we truly want, or listening to our intuition, is really due to the fact that it disrupts the way things currently are.
Our human reaction to change or disruption is AVOID AT ALL COSTS...
If you have lived your life based on choices that pleased your ego over what you truly wanted, you will know it. You also know deep down that the minimum amount of genuine effort to focus inward will make you painfully aware of this.
Our rational mind and ego persuade us with endless excuses, mainly revolving around "the fear of the unknown". Underneath those ego driven excuses, is the deeper truth – the risk of being vulnerable and losing our sense of control…
Vulnerability is a place where you show up exactly as we are and acknowledge things about ourselves that make us uncomfortable.
Others also tend to think that being vulnerable is a sign of being weak, and that fear of seeming weak to others is not worth the risk. My opinion on that, is that by NOT allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you create subconscious weaknesses and limitations within yourself, due to not allowing your authentic self to come through.
Make vulnerability a strength, by letting go of subconscious limitations and beliefs about yourself
Growing up, talking about emotions was not something that was “normal”. I had 2 brothers, and you know that scene where Tom Hanks is screaming “There’s no crying in baseball!!!” in the movie, A League of their own? That was a quote I constantly told myself as a child, except baseball was actually real life. I always had this belief that I needed to be tough, and if I wasn’t then I was being a burden to others. Which in turn caused me to shut off my emotional responses, and always have a brave face, even if I was hurting.
No one was ever able to know when I hit a limit, or when I was truly upset. The burden of feeling like I was not able to express my emotions, actually created more emotional upset in my life. On the outside, I seemed strong and that I could take on anything, while on the inside I was running on empty and just wanted to crumble to pieces.
To be clear – I do not blame my parents for this. Ultimately, I was the one who decided not to express myself and my emotions. It was my own fear that I created in my head due to being the only girl, and thought it was “expected” to not show emotions…. again, this is not true.
When I finally realized this, I let go of the belief that I had to constantly have a brave face and act as if everything was fine. I became emotionally stronger. When you release the weight of keeping unexpressed emotions in, we then create space for acceptance, love, and authenticity to come in.
You must accept yourself, in order to be your true self
Courageously and free of judgement, drop your defenses, and face the aspects about yourself that are hard to face where you avoid acknowledging. Within us, deep down in the dark places where we place parts of ourselves, the truths that exist there actually end up right here on the surface of our everyday lives. If we are exerting great amounts of energy to keep from facing and accepting ourselves, it plays a large role in our conscious life, by projecting these insecurities and negative judgement onto others.
When we face what we think is dark or negative about us – I mean really embrace it and see it for what it is – then we can begin to accept. We can trust the light and dark aspects of our being and can then stop projecting onto others. We can see and own the hot beautiful mess we often are, free of judgement.
We live with ourselves 24/7 365...it's time we just fucking love who we are. And if there is something about yourself you truly do not like, then change it. But don't you dare change it for the sake of others approval. Ask yourself if changing will make YOU happy with YOU, or will allow you to fit into the social norm, or the new trend of the season...(perfect example...thigh gaps...like wtf....)
Actually...I want you to ask yourself that question for every single thing you feel insecure about. "Will changing make YOU happy about YOU, or will it allow you to fit into the social norm or the new trend of the season". I can almost promise you that each insecurity stems from a time where you felt you weren't accepted by someone else's preference other than your own.
Next time you hold back from being vulnerable, I also want you to ask yourself:
WHY does this feel uncomfortable?
What is causing me to be afraid? What would happen if what I was afraid of doesn’t happen?
What do you need to hear to feel loved and supported? – Now, tell yourself that…
Being vulnerable is a sign of courage and strength, never a sign of weakness. It is a place of authenticity.
You have nothing to hide. See and accept yourself for all that you are. Because you are perfect.